(no subject)

[heidi]

This is probably the most difficult post I've made here on LJ in a long time, if ever.

This morning, nostrademons emailed me and praetorianguard regarding some IP matches that he did using information posted on recent Charlotte Lennox posts on JournalFen and comments to those posts.

On JournalFen, el juno posted 68.82.43.3 as the address they have at JournalFen associated with Sporkify - as far as nostrademons, praetorianguard and I can tell, this is the first time that IP address has been publicly shared as a "sockpuppet" IP address. nostrademons ran it through FA's archives, and found that it did match the IP address used by MsScribe on FA in the winter and spring of 2004.

Back in March of 2004, when I was told that many GT'ers thought that Sporkify was an FA Mod, I did ask on the Yahoogroup we have for mod-organizational things whether anyone on said list was Sporkify, and MsScribe lied to me. She posted a reply and said that people thought it was someone on her flist, and then said, "Did they wank something else? *goes to look*"

I believed her, just as I believed all the other FA Mods who posted to that list that week and said they weren't Sporkify - and of course, everyone but MsScribe answered truthfully. But I believed her, and praetorianguard believed her, and so did everyone else. After that, there was one more wank posted by Sporkify on F_W - this one actually involved wanking about FA and some of its mods - and at almost the same time, MsScribe asked if she could resign from FA. I, of course, said yes, and she stopped modding on FA. She was on-staff from early June, 2003 (when I was on leave having my son Jon, then working on Nimbus) until late March, 2004, and in that time-frame was on leave for most of November and December.

Now, I know people are going to say that we should've figured this out before, but we had no information about Sporkify's IP address, and we had no expectation that JF would ever release it, because their ToU's Privacy Policy states, "Journalfen will never release your personal
information, to anyone, except as may be required by law, or in the course of any possible legal proceedings.... Journalfen will never sell, or otherwise make available, information that is not required for the normal display of your journal."

Back in the spring of 2003, praetorianguard and owlman tried to make it clear that FA mods were not acting for FA when they weren't posting on the site, and that only the two of them and I were authorized to act on behalf of FA off-site. Therefore, unless someone complained about MsScribe as an FA moderator or she violated the FA ToU in some way, none of this involved FA. At that time, nobody directly contacted me about it, afaik.

Personally, I am sorry anyone was hurt by anything that has happened in fandom over the last six years that I've been a part of it. I feel extremely duped and upset about this whole situation. That being said, I am all written-out at this point, and so I'm going to parrot Irina. It's so hard to understand how someone who has been so kind to me, and whom I've seen be kind to others, could also do this - could be untruthful directly to me.

I don't think I've ever posted anything publicly or semi-publicly to hurt any of the GT users. I am friends with people who had fics there, and who posted there, and I would never want to hurt them, or anyone else who was an innocent victim of anything or anyone, and I know everyone else on FA's org team feels the same way.

If I have, I apologize for it. All these years, I've thought this was something that had nothing to do with me, or with FictionAlley and I really still feel that 99% of it didn't - we don't have any conclusive information to add to the discussion regarding Fermatojam or Pottersginny, according to the investigating that nostrademons did of our database.

Comments

[irinaauthor.livejournal.com]

This is so sad. Heidi, I've been trying to message you. I'm working late tonight, but do you think we could talk tomorrow please? It would mean a lot to me.

[heidi8.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes, any time. Do you have my phone number? I can email it to you.

[royalmidnight.livejournal.com]

Don't feel bad, something similar happened to me, except it was emails to Korean friends spoofing my return address. A couple of them still aren't speaking to me.

[ginsu.livejournal.com]

Along similiar lines, it's perfectly possible to spoof IP addresses. In theory, anyone with a raw sockets-equipped OS can do it.

I doubt that's actually happened, but it's worth pointing out.

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

I hate to see you hurting, Heidi. I really do. And the hurt is very clear in this post. I know you did everything you could to be entirely fair all the way along, and once again you are continuing to do that.

*sends love*

[ashavah]

Heidi:

I'm sorry that you're hurting over this. I'm sorry that you've been lied to.

And on my part, I've never felt that you've done anything to hurt me as a former GT user.

JK

[heidi8.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for saying that, and for everything you said this weekend.

[effervescent.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, Heidi. I've been following this as it develops, and I truly can't feel anything but sympathy for you in all of this. *hugs*

[(Anonymous)]

I think you deserve lots and lots of hugs. *hugs*

[bribitribbit.livejournal.com]

Eek, that was me.

[cleverthylacine]

If you believe this, it changes a lot. I will never, ever, ever put my faith in anything on Journalfen without proof from outside.

[heidi8.livejournal.com]

I called her about it, and confirmed it with her. So, yes. If she hadn't I couldn't even list the ip address itself without breaking the FA ToU.

[morganmuffle]

Thank you for sharing what you know with us. The more I read and remember the more I realise this is going to have no winners and a whole lot of losers and I'm sorry you've been hurt by it (as stupid and as unhelpful as that sounds, I am)

[lexin.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you were lied to, and that are taking flak for it now.

[zhonnika.livejournal.com]

O_O

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, Heidi. I can't imagine how hurt you must feel. With all my heart I applaud your courage in making this post.

[hermorrine.livejournal.com]

*sighs loudly* What I want to know is why any of this needs to come up three years later. What's the point?!

I'm going to crawl back into my hidey hole now.

[edeainfj.livejournal.com]

The point is that people were hurt - both "enemies" and friends of Dionne - and now the fandom is coming together to recognize it and heal some old wounds. It's never too late to tell the truth, imo.

Heidi: thanks for posting this. =)

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

*sigh* I'm sorry that you are feeling duped. That really sucks. Maybe I should but I just have drifted so far out of fandom that the impact is dull. I also don't represent FA so I can see that the impact would be greater for you.

*squash*

Have a chocolate!

[doctoraicha.livejournal.com]

Maybe it was the first public post, Heidi, and I will give you props for admitting you were duped by MsScribe. However, you were emailed evidence on several occassions by people with the same/similar evidence - MsScribe was not only Sporkify, according to IP evidence - she was a number of other hurtful, mean spirited sockpuppets. You were wrong about her. I'm sorry for you about that. It hurts to be duped.

[doctoraicha.livejournal.com]

That actually came off a bit shorter than I meant it to, because I've been reading this wankage all day and I've not been online this much in about three years, so, I have a massive headache. I'm sorry if that sounded bitchy.

[tarie.livejournal.com]

Oh, fandom.

I remember when a lot of this stuff went down, and I'm surprised it took this long for the truth to fully come to petty, catty light.

Some days I think I can't be surprised anymore by fandom, and then something happens to make me refute that thought.

At least the truth is out now. IPs don't lie.

So...

[fearsclave.livejournal.com]

...in your considered professional opinion, some of the allegations do in fact seem to be true?

[ryuugazaki.livejournal.com]

I think the important thing is that what needs to be cleared up is slowly being cleared up.

Feel better ♥

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sure you know it's been linked, but I've got to chime in: MsScribe's actions reflect badly only on herself and not on the places she hung out or the people she befriended. A lot of people, in a lot of places, stood up for what they believed in and cared about--and some of them were fooled. It doesn't make those people bad or stupid, it just makes them human. The important thing now is to let the truth be known. As cliche and corny as it sounds, the truth really does set you free.

So thanks for posting this.

The Sockpuppet Rat@JF

[gunderpants.livejournal.com]

Heidi, I was pretty harsh to you the other day in regards to your post and bringing up friendslocked information in a public venue. I feel bad for you at the moment because admitting to realisations like this can be really fucking painful and lousy, and as a friend of msscribe I think you and plenty of others won't have a happy week of it.

I don't think I appreciated that as her friends, you guys would need the time to process it, or would either want to think otherwise or wouldn't believe the information presented against a person you were close to. As someone who acts fairly rationally and pragmatically I don't realise that people have different reactions and coping mechanisms to me.

I offer you my apologies for the other day and my sympathies at being manipulated and lied to.

[jlh.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to say how much I really, really appreciate that you said this. I think in all that is going on, and I've said this in other places, the idea that as her friend I am required to have an immediate and public reaction to the information that has been presented, rather than honor my close friendship with her by talking to her about how I feel and moving forward, is the most hurtful thing.

So, again, thank you very much.

[piperx.livejournal.com]

I can't imagine how difficult it was for you to accept that someone you thought you knew was capable of this but it's a good thing that the truth is coming out at last.

*hugs*

[agonistes]

Thanks for posting this. I'm sorry you were duped.

[(Anonymous)]

Why do I suspect that if nostrademons hadn't taken the initiative here and backed you into a corner you would still be on the defensive? You had access to the FA logs yourself, and should have investigated whether msscribe was behind the Clarabella sockpuppet when that once "confessed" to stirring shit as fermatojam. You could have headed all this off a lot sooner if you weren't always so invested with covering your own ass.

[cleverthylacine]

WTF? How do you know Nostry "backed her into a corner"?

[flourish.livejournal.com]

My god.

My god.

You know, you think you've left it behind... and then... I don't know. *headdesk*

[cleverthylacine]

Yeah.

[no-remorse.livejournal.com]

Someone once said "The truth shall set you free." Let's hope for fandom that he is right.

*hugs*

[eljuno.livejournal.com]

Hi.

Thank you very much for posting this. I very much do appreciate it, and I think it shows a remarkable amount of class.

...I am also very sorry for the obvious pain this entire situation has caused you. No one wants to think ill of a friend, and especially not to find proof of same. I really hope things start to go better for you and everyone affected by all this...

Christ. Does this sound like it was written by committee or what? Thanks a lot, this was a cool thing to do, and I'm sorry that you're hurting over it.

Luck.

-El Juno/Mat

[heidi8.livejournal.com]

Ah, a little bit like committee, but I had by post beta-read to make sure I didn't get wobbly in it, and it turned out there were two incomplete sentences, so it's good I checked.

Please understand that I am having some serious trust issues at the moment, and I am not going to suddenly embrace people who haven't necessarily been nice to me over the years just because they were accurate in one series of things. But I am curious, and if you can't answer, I would understand - if someone had asked, back in March/April 2004, for the IP info for Sporkify, would you have given it out?