(no subject)

[heidi]

This is probably the most difficult post I've made here on LJ in a long time, if ever.

This morning, nostrademons emailed me and praetorianguard regarding some IP matches that he did using information posted on recent Charlotte Lennox posts on JournalFen and comments to those posts.

On JournalFen, el juno posted 68.82.43.3 as the address they have at JournalFen associated with Sporkify - as far as nostrademons, praetorianguard and I can tell, this is the first time that IP address has been publicly shared as a "sockpuppet" IP address. nostrademons ran it through FA's archives, and found that it did match the IP address used by MsScribe on FA in the winter and spring of 2004.

Back in March of 2004, when I was told that many GT'ers thought that Sporkify was an FA Mod, I did ask on the Yahoogroup we have for mod-organizational things whether anyone on said list was Sporkify, and MsScribe lied to me. She posted a reply and said that people thought it was someone on her flist, and then said, "Did they wank something else? *goes to look*"

I believed her, just as I believed all the other FA Mods who posted to that list that week and said they weren't Sporkify - and of course, everyone but MsScribe answered truthfully. But I believed her, and praetorianguard believed her, and so did everyone else. After that, there was one more wank posted by Sporkify on F_W - this one actually involved wanking about FA and some of its mods - and at almost the same time, MsScribe asked if she could resign from FA. I, of course, said yes, and she stopped modding on FA. She was on-staff from early June, 2003 (when I was on leave having my son Jon, then working on Nimbus) until late March, 2004, and in that time-frame was on leave for most of November and December.

Now, I know people are going to say that we should've figured this out before, but we had no information about Sporkify's IP address, and we had no expectation that JF would ever release it, because their ToU's Privacy Policy states, "Journalfen will never release your personal
information, to anyone, except as may be required by law, or in the course of any possible legal proceedings.... Journalfen will never sell, or otherwise make available, information that is not required for the normal display of your journal."

Back in the spring of 2003, praetorianguard and owlman tried to make it clear that FA mods were not acting for FA when they weren't posting on the site, and that only the two of them and I were authorized to act on behalf of FA off-site. Therefore, unless someone complained about MsScribe as an FA moderator or she violated the FA ToU in some way, none of this involved FA. At that time, nobody directly contacted me about it, afaik.

Personally, I am sorry anyone was hurt by anything that has happened in fandom over the last six years that I've been a part of it. I feel extremely duped and upset about this whole situation. That being said, I am all written-out at this point, and so I'm going to parrot Irina. It's so hard to understand how someone who has been so kind to me, and whom I've seen be kind to others, could also do this - could be untruthful directly to me.

I don't think I've ever posted anything publicly or semi-publicly to hurt any of the GT users. I am friends with people who had fics there, and who posted there, and I would never want to hurt them, or anyone else who was an innocent victim of anything or anyone, and I know everyone else on FA's org team feels the same way.

If I have, I apologize for it. All these years, I've thought this was something that had nothing to do with me, or with FictionAlley and I really still feel that 99% of it didn't - we don't have any conclusive information to add to the discussion regarding Fermatojam or Pottersginny, according to the investigating that nostrademons did of our database.

Comments

[doctoraicha.livejournal.com]

So you would've believed inconclusive IP evidence over a friend who you had no reason to believe was dishonest? That's your call; it wasn't, at the time, mine. And I was completely hoodwinked. I was completely wrong to believe her.

Yes, you were wrong. You chose to believe her over the evidence that was provided to you – in no way was it inconclusive except that you chose to believe the nanny did it. You had two paths; you chose loyalty over suspicion. That is exactly what the GT admins did that you and your friends publicly and privately vilified them for doing. When they chose to believe Jeff over IP evidence, you attacked them as if the Entire GT Site was personally responsible for sending those wanky, freakish emails to Arabella, Cassie et al.

So, here is the problem: you wanted them to be sorry for their culpability in allowing this to continue when they had the evidence right in front of them. This PuppeteerGate is precisely the same situation. You (and your friend Cassie, and a few others) have personal responsibility for letting MsScribe continue to send vicious, wanky, freaky things out into cyberspace. Either you do, or Anne and Paula and some of the other GTers that you blamed for StalkerGate have no responsibility for that. Evidence in both cases was provided by various SQers. I believe they were partly responsible, just as I believe you (and others, but we are talking about you, here) are partly responsible.

I wouldn’t have believed IP evidence whole heartedly over a friend. But I would have checked. Considered the evidence. Investigated more than just asking around and in one place. You asked SQ for evidence in StalkerGate. Why not ask portkey or the Quill or any of the other sites – I’d have done more checking than you admit you did, if only to PROVE she was right. To exonerate her of all charges. For one, I’d have asked to meet the nanny/babysitter/friend she was claiming was the Root of All Evil.

No, I did not. snacky posted on my LJ about the posts on Sapphsmum's LJ just before March 14th began, and when I was next online …

Ok, I was wrong in thinking it was three days. I’m sorry.

[heidi8.livejournal.com]

You chose to believe her over the evidence that was provided to you – in no way was it inconclusive except that you chose to believe the nanny did it.
That's not what I was told at the time. That's not what I believed in the spring of 2004 when I talked with people - including Dionne, who lied to me about Sporkify's real identity - about the allegations in Angua's email.

When I got Angua's email, I spoke about it with praetorianguard, ari_o, owlman and others who had been involved and/or paying attention in spring/summer 2003, and they told me that there wasn't anything in Angua's email that hadn't been examined in the nine or so months before. At that time, ari_o said "fermatojam is/was a real guy. I have his name and address and IP tucked away somewhere because I was in charge of Nimbus Security. He was a very real stalker who hacked into Ms.Scribe's computer." So I believed her. I'm sorry I did because as it turns out, she didn't have independent confirmation of things like the contents of the police report, although she'd said she did at the time.


You had two paths; you chose loyalty over suspicion.

In a sense, yes, but not loyalty to D alone. Loyalty to zorac, who said it was inconclusive, and to ari_o and to owlman who had looked through FA's IP records, and to the people who said (seemingly correctly) that Infinitus was real and had confirmed the claims D made regarding Louis. I wasn't just listening to one person.

That is exactly what the GT admins did that you and your friends publicly and privately vilified them for doing. When they chose to believe Jeff over IP evidence, you attacked them as if the Entire GT Site was personally responsible for sending those wanky, freakish emails to Arabella, Cassie et al.

That's not true. We never made an accusation based solely on IP evidence. I sent four or five IP addresses to Arabella back in December of 2001, shared with her some of the emails' contents, and asked if there were any matches in the SQ IP database, and if not, could she ban those IP addresses because then the culprit might complain about being banned. A few hours later, she emailed me back and said that the IP did match to a user, and said user's husband confessed to sending the emails.

The GT admins chose to believe Chryslin over Arabella. That was their decision.

(Continued in a reply to your next reply)

[angua9.livejournal.com]

When I got Angua's email, I spoke about it with praetorianguard, ari_o, owlman and others who had been involved and/or paying attention in spring/summer 2003, and they told me that there wasn't anything in Angua's email that hadn't been examined in the nine or so months before.

What? Are you saying that these people read my email? They saw all my arguments, my evidence, the contradictions I pointed out in Dionne's story? Are you saying that, when Ari_o was making fun of me in public on her LJ, saying that R/Hr shipping had fried my brain, SHE HAD READ MY EMAIL?

Wow.



Obviously, I don't think "don't respond, do nothing, and mock the sender in public" was an appropriate or prudent response to the email I sent you. But others must judge that for themselves. I will post the text of that email on my LJ, so that they can.

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

At that time, ari_o said "fermatojam is/was a real guy. I have his name and address and IP tucked away somewhere because I was in charge of Nimbus Security. He was a very real stalker who hacked into Ms.Scribe's computer." So I believed her. I'm sorry I did because as it turns out, she didn't have independent confirmation of things like the contents of the police report, although she'd said she did at the time.


I do not say this to cause either of you more pain, but my god, Heidi, Katie feels horrible enough about her own (guiltless) part in all of this as it is without you minimalizing your part by blaming it on her.

muffinbutt posting from RP journal, say sorry

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

Heidi, I'm with Aja on this one. This language and behavior is really upsetting to me. Please. I think you have no idea how much you are tearing down the reputation you built with language like this.

Please don't. We're friends. I'm so upset right now I'm about to lose my spicy noodles.

[(Anonymous)]

You just keep trying to push the blame off to other people, don't you? Keep on back pedaling, Heidi, keep on back pedaling.

[imaginarycircus.livejournal.com]

I never ever said I saw a police report. Because I didn't ever see one. Wow, I'm learning who all my frineds are this week. The quotation you have from me is all I ever said.

[(Anonymous)]

You make me sick.

[gamps-garret.livejournal.com]

Heidi,

Without any doubt, you are the most cowardly bitch I have ever met. I am repulsed by the idea that I once trusted you and believed you to be a decent human being. With this comment, with this continued conversation, with everything you have done about the entire situation in the last week, you have demonstrated your selfishness and utter lack of concern for anyone but yourself.

May your self-righteous back-pedaling make you happy now.

Lissa

[unanon.livejournal.com]

Heidi,

I've known for some time that sometimes you'll say/do things that aren't deliberately meant to be hurtful or cruel, they're just astonishingly thoughtless...and I've been okay with that. People aren't perfect.

I'd like to believe that shunting blame on people whose faith you claim to value most likely wasn't your intention in this case, but it certainly was the very real outcome. Katie (among others) does not deserve to be thrown to the wolves for this. Vacation or no, it's only right that you step in and take some personal responsibility.

It's bad enough that we were duped by Dionne, but this is nausea-inducing.

Mood: Disappointed.

[lore]

Heidi...Honestly, you make it very hard for the people who want to be supportive of you. Quit being a lawyer and dissembling and just say what needs to be said. To K now, too.

love, lore

Re: Mood: Disappointed.

[lore]

Let me add that I hadn't seen that you were going to be away. I won't delete my comment because, ugh, but I will say I would have waited to post it if I had seen your away sooner. I hope when you get back, things will be worked out between you and K. I won't even dream of you pleasing everyone - that will never happen.

love, lore

[sugarjet03.livejournal.com]

Heidi,

I haven't always agreed with your actions, but I usually can see where they are coming from. This time, though, you are slandering someone who is just as innocent, if not more so, than you are. You owe Katie an apology. Too many people have already gotten hurt, and you are making things worse by trying to make yourself look better.