(no subject)

[heidi]

This has definitely been the worst month of my life. Not a day has gone by that I haven't sobbed with my family and friends.

I got back to Miami on the sixth, and three days later, my parents arrived with my sister and her 14 month old baby. We spent all of Wednesday and Thursday in mourning, a sort of semi-shiva at my parents', and the funeral was Friday. More shiva and a memorial service on Sunday, and some day I'll be able to get my memories under control and write about how it feels to hold your sister as they remove her husband's breathing tube, or see him in his bed ten minutes later and know that there's nothing of him left there at all, or watch as his casket is raised into a crypt right under a skylight, right under the sky that he'll never lift his daughter into.

It's insane, when you think about it. In 42 hours, I went from having the time of my life at Lumos to my brother in law, who I've known since he was 19, lying in a hospital bed with his brain waves flatlined.

Hug the people you love - spend time with them even if you've only met them online - because you never know when you're going to lose them. Brian was an amazing, active, dynamic, energetic and sweet guy, and we'll never have him back again.

And, of course, amid all that, I had YMs and emails calling me a plagiarist because I didn't do MLA citations for a fic that I wrote over five years ago, or because I stupidly forgot to cite a Prefab Sprout song, or a Shel Silverstein poem, or three lines from Cicero. Yes, I was stupid to forget to cite them, and I am sorry that I did, and that in the ensuing years, I didn't go back and reread the fic and realise it at some point along the way. I went onto FA yesterday and fixed them there, and I think I've caught everything, and I don't think it's up anywhere else but on the Paradise list - I've emailed Yael about editing those in the files section. If I didn't, please feel free to follow FA's copyright infringement policy from the Terms of Use - if you do, the usual procedure will kick in as it did this past weekend, and I'll have to correct it or have the fic pulled down. I don't know, at this point, if I'm going to opt to leave everything up there going forward, but I also don't feel capable of making that kind of decision at this time. It's been a very long month and a very long week.

There's a discussion I tried to have five years ago about plagiarism - what is it, where are the lines drawn, how do we cite, how should we cite - but it often disolved and devolves into extremism. I hope it stops because there are some terrific people - and some people who are complaining about me in this past week - who have used lines from other sources in the fics they've written and haven't done MLA style citations, so maybe we do need to again revisit the issue of disclaimers and what should and should not go into them. The discussion didn't go anywhere five years ago, and when I've brought it up since then, it's never gotten much attention. Maybe now, it will.

Comments

[sboyko.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your family's loss.

Things like this really rearrange your priorities and show you what is truly important. I hope you find a way to enjoy the things you find important, and the unimportant things fade away.

[in-the-blue.livejournal.com]

Well, you know where I stand on this so I don't need to repeat it here. But Just know I'm thinking about you, and I'm always around if you need me to listen.

[cesario.livejournal.com]

I may be overstepping myself here, as you don't know me from Adam and I haven't been commissioned by anyone to make this comment---but I feel you should know that nobody who was involved in the bad_penny articles had any idea that their appearance would correspond so unfortunately with the tragedy in your family. I don't know if that will be any comfort to you at all, but everyone I know who is connected with the matter has expressed regret and sympathy for the death of your brother-in-law, and though they can't regret the publication of the articles themselves, they would not wish you to believe that they intended to take unkind advantage of your grief.

For my part, please accept my best wishes for your family during this difficult time.

[slytherincesss.livejournal.com]

God, what is this? A ding-dong-dash in Heidi's LJ so as to leave a flaming sack of shit on her doormat?

Look, perhaps what you say is true. Yet, the classy and truly sympathetic thing to do would have been to hide the post until a more appropriate time, or delete and repost it much later.

Of course, where's the fun in that, though, right? Bad Penny isn't about having class. I won't argue anyone's right to speak freely or against the right for the community to exist - we all have the right to free speech. But I find your comment here to be disingenuous, to say the least.

[laughingirl.livejournal.com]

I've been thinking of you often... I'm so sorry about everything you're going through. Wish I was there to give you a big hug.

[iscaris.livejournal.com]

Heidi, I'm sorry to hear about all you've been through -- and whatever's going in fandom right now should take second place to dealing with your RL right now. Fandom will get over it on its own, and there are more important things (and people) in life to spend your energies on especially right now.

Take care.

[ladylaw7.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for everything you're having to go through. You and your family are in my thoughts.

[hydy.livejournal.com]

*hugs* people try to feel better about themselves by attempting to bring down pepole that are better than they are.

I hope you'll feel better

[jadzia7667.livejournal.com]

Oh for....THIS is what all the wank is about? Several years ago, you didn't cite a quote? *shakes head* It's not that you claimed any of the quotes as your own. It's that you forgot to cite/didn't cite for whatever reason. Unbelievable. I thought people were ranting about actual plagiarism - you know, where an author posts a story they didn't write, but claims they did write it.

I'm sorry for all the sorrow you and your family are going through. I'm sorrier that a bunch of people with no lives are tormenting you over something so irrelevant. Yes, a person should cite sources when they quote, but it's no biggie that some don't, as long as they're not claiming the quotes as their own. Frankly, Shel Silverstein poems are so recognizable that it's ridiculous for anyone to claim them as their own work, which you didn't do in the first place. Likewise for the lines from Cicero.

[selinakyle47.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

My condolences again to your family. I can't imagine the pain you all must be going through.

As for the rest...don't let them get to you. It's so trivial compared to what's happened.

[sandy-phoenix.livejournal.com]

Heidi, I don't have words to express how sorry I am for all that you and your family have been through and are going through right now. You are all still in my thoughts and prayers.

[themorningstarr.livejournal.com]

Heidi, I am so sorry for your family's loss. You've all been in my thoughts, especially your sister. I can't even imagine.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do.

[allysonsedai.livejournal.com]

I am so, so sorry all of this has happened to you, Heidi. You are, as always, in my thoughts.

♥

[faithfulreader.livejournal.com]

I hope everything will be all right. Eventually :)

[here-be-dragons.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

So sorry to hear about your brother-in-law. You and your family are in my thoughts.

[mad-madrasi.livejournal.com]

*huge hugs* I'm so sorry for your loss, Heidi. I hope things get better for you soon.

[alhewison.livejournal.com]

Very sorry to hear about everything that's going on. At the moment though, I think you're right to concentrate on the most important things: your family. Big hugs and thinking of you.

[malachan.livejournal.com]

Been thinking of you. :hugs:

[airemay.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I can't believe the month you've had. You and your family are in my prayers. I'm disgusted with the way you've been treated lately, and I hope you get some hard-earned time away. ♥

[alissomora.livejournal.com]

*hugs tightly* My heart aches for you and what your family have been going through, Heidi. Much love to you.

[irinaauthor.livejournal.com]

I'm so, so sorry for your loss, Heidi.

[soleta.livejournal.com]

thank you for apologizing. that was classy.

and I'm very sorry about your personal troubles.

(no, you've never heard of me before, I lurk.)

[heart-of-wine.livejournal.com]

*hugs tightly*

[phoenixwriter.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry for your lose. I find it's amazing at least to me that you adress this plagiarsm affair eventhough it would be the very last thing on my mind in your situation.

I wish you and your family a lot of strength.

~PhoenixWriter

[no-remorse.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry if - unintentionally - I made a difficult month even more difficult for you. *hugs*

[heidi8.livejournal.com]

I didn't presume at any moment that everyone knew what had been happening, so no, don't feel like you did anything unjustifiable by your email.

[perceval.livejournal.com]

Just ... hugs. And lots of pink.