(no subject)

[heidi]

Hi to everyone from Fandom Wank, who clearly believe that I live online.

I'm going to say this one more time:
I didn't refuse to post a link. In fact, I suggested she post to the Fandom Help LJ (yes, i got the url wrong - that happens when I'm posting via a handheld, and not on the computer, as it's impossible to have two browser windows open at a time), and I said that I would also use her Amazon link. I meant that if she posted about it on fandom_help, I'd link to that. What I did not feel that I had the time to do was this:

give a shout out to your friends list and ask them to do the same to make them aware that other women are dying that have cancer but it isn't breast cancer? We need financial help and a chance too. This cancer or other cancers that aren't "popular" with celebrities etc.,could hit you or anyone you love and you too would then be in my shoes looking for any help you can get, because there isn't any help out here except for the help of strangers.

That, to me, sounded like she wanted me to organize something educational/fundraisery specifically about her cancer and other sufferers, and I think it's understandable to everyone that such a project would be time consuming. I can't do it, and if that makes me an evil and heartless bitch, then I encourage all of you to go out and do it in my stead. If you can't, if you don't have the time in your schedule right now, then you're all heartless bitches, too.

I don't have the talent to do what cleolinda is doing with her parody project, or what crocheters or others are offering to do. I haven't even had the time to write a drabble in over six months, so I can't offer drabbles to donors.

And I don't live online (look! I even said I was going offline for a while yesterday morning!), so I certainly didn't know the F_W posting regarding sapphsmum's misunderstanding of my Friday reply to her until I came on this morning to a hailstorm of PMs about it.

But if I misunderstood her, then she certainly had the opportunity to correct my misunderstanding either by replying to my reply on her LJ, or in replying to my reply on my own, if she's been online since then, which I wouldn't presume to suppose, as I wouldn't want someone to presume that regarding me.

In sum - a link is one thing - and this is the one that, to me, seems most comprehensive - but a full-on fundraising project is another.

Comments

[ancarett]

Sorry but unsurprised to read that the losers over at FW have been busier wanking and sniping at a tempest in a teapot over a misunderstanding.

[(Anonymous)]

Dude, I thought you were spot-on. (of course, I have no balls and am posting this anonymously, but so what, right?)

If he's lost his job, guess what? They suddenly qualify for all that assistance they couldn't get before!

Don't you stress about it for one second. *pets you*

[selinakyle47.livejournal.com]

It's so annoying. She overstepped the bounds of polite interaction and now you're getting nailed for it. So sorry to see that you have to deal with it again.

[(Anonymous)]

Wouldn't it be nice if you took a minute to check? What you might be surprised at is, despite the snickering, quite a number of people over there have donated. More than I've seen done over here.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh yeah. They qualify for the MASSIVE amounts of money the government hands out to poor people in need. Uh huh. Not had any runins with the government on this score, have you?

[(Anonymous)]

Wow. An apology, a polite request, and congratulations on having a baby. Yes, indeed, that was incredibly rude of her. She should definitely be censured for being such a bitch. *eyeroll*

[renne.livejournal.com]

yeah. i'm sooo sorry for heidi "getting nailed" because christina (http://www.4christina.org/)'s situation is so desperate that she has to beg someone like heidi for help.

[ancarett]

Checked FW and the site in question at the time, actually. Very sad story, indeed and I hope that a job and healthcare are soon forthcoming.

I'm just bemused at why people feel the need to wank at heidi8 over this. Doesn't help anyone in need one darned bit, now, does it?

[selinakyle47.livejournal.com]

*shrug*

Desperation doesn't mean one is entitled to spam someone else's journal. It's tacky, simple enough. And it can turn off some people from donating in the first place.

[selinakyle47.livejournal.com]

Surely she can behave in a better manner in someone else's LJ?

Heidi, my apologies for extending the wank but I had to reply.

[snacky]

Hi Heidi. Thanks for the big welcome for folks here from f_w. Since I do understand you're not online 24-7, I can only imagine that you haven't seen what your friends/defenders/fangirls are doing in Christina's journal.

A few links, since I'm sure you haven't seen this yet:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/sapphsmum/14125.html?thread=123181#t123181

http://www.livejournal.com/users/sapphsmum/14125.html?thread=120621#t120621

While I appreciate their determination to defend their friend/person they admire, going on the attack in the dying woman's journal -- questioning if she is really sick -- is making them look like callous assholes. And, since they're speaking on your behalf, they're making you look like one too.

I don't imagine that you've asked them to do this. I know you can speak for yourself. But I'm hoping you can call the rabid fanpoodles off.

This whole thing - we can call it wank, defending your friends, charity, whatever. But the woman is in the hospital. She's dying of cancer. You don't have time to get involved in her cause, and believe me, I find that understandable. But what's going on in her journal, with people "defending" you? It's vile and disgusting. Enough is enough - please, when you get back online, put a stop to it.

[phoenixdeluxe.livejournal.com]

One nicely worded request from a desperate, dying woman to someone who is known to support charity and gets a lot of traffic is spam now? Good to know. Way to ignore the context of a situation. Jesus Christ.

(frozen) (no subject)

[(Anonymous)]

It's tacky, simple enough

I'm sorry but I could not just read this and not make a comment. A woman so desperate that she's willing to forget about her pride and just beg for her life is tacky? It turns people (and I presume by people you must mean you among them) off donating? Out of all this wank, so far, your "it's tacky" comment is striking me as one of the most cold-hearted comments of the lot. I don't know you at all, so really, I shouldn't be passing judgment on you. But with a comment as stupidly bitchy as that about someone who's--I repeat--begging for her life, don't be surprised if people (mis)label you for a cold-hearted stupid bint.

That said, what I'm now thinking of you never went through my mind about Heidi as I was reading this. Just know that with a comment like that one, you're working against Heidi's cause rather than for it. She misunderstood a plea for help from someone she had some history with, it happens and it doesn't make her a bitch or anything. Heidi explained what she'd misunderstood and did not call Christina by any names, nor label her plea for help as tacky.

You've done what any person left in a position to have to forget about their own pride so they can beg for their life fears: you've shown scorn and disgust towards Christina and her cause. And yes, that's exactly what you did by using the term tacky here. I certainly hope that you never find yourself in Christina's shoes lest you find yourself obliged to act in a tacky way.

[(Anonymous)]

You're so worried about Christina, but you seem to have no clue about the potential impact of stress of pregnant women. http://www.marchofdimes.com/professionals/681_1158.asp
So rude.

[nights-mistress.livejournal.com]

I see that Snacky has already said what I was going to say, but I'm going to beg, because I have absolutely no pride (because this is the internet and it's not as if you'll ever meet me anyway). Heidi, please, ask your friends to stop harassing sapphsmum. She can't defend herself, she's hospitalised, and I doubt that when she comes back, she wants to read how certain people believe she's a liar and making up the fact that she has cancer.

[(Anonymous)]

How is a very polite, nicely worded plea to Heidi to maybe put in a word to her friends that they ought to take the flamewar away from a dying woman's lj rude? She's not adding to the flamewar here, and she's not encouraging people to kick Heidi either. Not to mention that Heidi is giving birth. If this thread is giving her grief and stress, she can very easily step away from it and concentrate on happier things. Christina is dying and what will she then have to turn to when she comes back from the hospital to see people are laughing at her problems and being scornful and disrespectful of her pleas for help?

I find your comment extremely rude, a lot more so than snacky's. And for the record, I don't think badly of Heidi at all. I believe she misunderstood a comment left in her lj and in the end agreed to leave the link she was asked to leave a post. I do however find those who have been going around insulting Christina in a crusade to defend Heidi's honor despicable. You're not defending Heidi one bit, here, you're making yourself appear as a heartless moron.

[snacky]

::rolls eyes::

Yes, Mouse, how very rude of me to make a polite request and not attack Heidi in her own journal.

Heidi, I'm sorry if my comment has added to your stress and endangered your pregnancy, as the mouse seems to think it has. Please accept my apologies, and know this was not my intention.

[(Anonymous)]

If this woman is dying of cancer, how is it that she's asking the fandom to raise money to cover her bariatric (weight-loss) surgery? A dangerous surgery that should only be performed on someone in the best of possible health? I think it's reasonable for people to ask a question like that, especially if they're worried that the money that's being raised is going to be used to go towards a surgery that could kill someone as sick as Christina is.

(frozen) (no subject)

[heidi8.livejournal.com]

I've read through the thread very quickly, and I honestly don't recognize many of the names there. I noticed that someone has gone in and screened some of the posts, though, so I'm clearly not seeing everything that's been posted there over the last few days.

In terms of the people I do know, light_music says she's done posting about this over there, so I think saying stop to her right now would be redundent. I don't think she's going to post over there anymore, anyway. And aome hasn't been attacking Christina, from the posts I've seen - she's certainly not the sort to attack someone anyway. I wish people didn't have to feel like I needed to be defended, but I've been slammed across the net for a misunderstanding, and I guess they felt they wanted to set the record straight about some thing.

Also, on a slightly tangentinal note, I was thinking that it's a little unfair and disengenuous for you to call either my RL friends, or people who haven't friended me in the first place fangirls or "rabid fanpoodles", but since I don't know whose posts have been screened, for the sake of this discussion I'll presume that among those are posts by people who have friended me but who I don't know IRL. It's safer that way.

(frozen) (no subject)

[(Anonymous)]

If I can make a suggestion, you really might want to make a post requesting that people lay off Christina. I cannot even tell you how bad your defenders are making you look, here and on Fandom Wank. They are, I'm sorry, loathsome excuses for human beings. If I were you and had people defending me by calling a dying woman's request for help "tacky," or opining that she should just die already so she doesn't make the BNFs uncomfortable anymore, I would give some serious thought to what I'd done to deserve that kind of "support" and how in God's name I could undo it.

[dejaspirit.livejournal.com]

???

She can't defend herself, she's hospitalised, and I doubt that when she comes back, she wants to read how certain people believe she's a liar and making up the fact that she has cancer.

Is there some disappearing posts that I'm not reading? Where has ANYONE SAID THAT? Good lord, defending Heidi does not equal calling Christina a liar.

(frozen) (no subject)

[(Anonymous)]

Boy, I'd really love it if you could link me towards the post where someone said "she should just die already so she doesn't make the BNFs uncomfortable anymore"! I'd love to see that! That would sure be wanky!

-waits expectantly-

Of course, I can't be linked to it, because it doesn't exist, because you made it up. The fact is, NEITHER SIDE in this equation is behaving particularly well. Heidi's friends are overstating the rudeness of Christina's initial action, and the people attacking Heidi are behaving like psychotic stalker freaks. heidi_patrol anyone? If I was one of Heidi's friends, I'd be fucking frightened by the borderline-insane vicious ranting, and I can understand why they're not mincing words in reply.

You can't dump the responsibility for ending this wank on Heidi. She didn't start it - people like you did. Nor is in an especially intelligent move to try to get someone to do what you want them to do by calling their friends "loathsome excuses for human beings." And isn't there some fandom wank "rule" about not trolling people's LJ's? Good to see you guys really stick to that one.

(frozen) (no subject)

[selinakyle47.livejournal.com]

Please show me where I've wished her ill will. I'm sorry she's in this situation and I hope she gets better. However, she's a stranger to me and did not make a compelling case for her situation. If my reluctance to donate makes me "cold-hearted", then I'd rather be that than be taken for a fool.

(frozen) (no subject)

[(Anonymous)]

It fills me - and many others, I don't doubt - with amazement to see fandom wankers, even a fandom wank MOD come out and whinge about online manners and laying off people. You fucking assholes created a culture of backbiting, lies, sniping, slander, and the most vicious-pile ons imaginable; you guys encouraged the notion that nothing was sacred and nobody deserved protection or privacy or a second of compassion, you guys made fun of people before for having cancer and no insurance and called them "whiners" and you can fucking REAP WHAT YOU FUCKING SOW. THIS SHIT IS YOUR FAULT. AND MAY YOU ROT IN HELL FOR IT.

[snacky]

Well, then, that's fine - you're certainly under no obligation to take any action that I request, and I understand that. Thanks for taking the time to check the thread and thanks for your response. I apologize again for any discomfort I've caused you.

And I'm sorry for what you see as my disingenuousness (disingenuity?) and unfairness by calling the people fangirls and "rabid fanpoodles". I was working under the assumption that they weren't all your friends, and were defending you out of some feeling of fannish loyalty, rather than a close relationship, and I think that "fangirl" fit the bill there. The "rabid fanpoodles" was meant to characterize their behavior more than anything.