(no subject)

[heidi]

HERMIONE
How many sixth years would drive themselves crazy
By arguing over a game of chess?
Not very many--the way things are going
There'll soon be one less!

RON
Don't believe you, sweetie pie--

HERMIONE
Listen here, Ron, I too had ambitions
How did I get waylaid?
I should smash some flowers!
My potions project is due in the morn.
Instead, I'm your nursemaid
Just setting you up for those glittering prizes
You're so obsessed, you cannot take --

RON
We'll go to Hogsmeade!
I'm ninety percent of the way - for now, can't you just keep --

HERMIONE
Thanks--ten percent--you got me cheap.

RON
No, Hermione --I meant we are ninety percent of the way--

HERMIONE
How many sixth years --seventeen O.W.L. sixth years!
With S.P.E.W. things to shout about -- spend their time
Playing a game in which silence is golden
And speaking a crime?

RON
Maybe if he moved his king....

HERMIONE
All of my studies to prepare for my N.E.W.T.s,
My revising for C.O.M.C. --
Recklessly abandoned
For you who thinks Bleyk Hooves are moves for your knight
And heather-root a third year!
But then when I show you a move you can't fathom
I have to admit it feels great--

RON
Great news for chess fans!
Yeah--that's how he did it--yes, that's how the Slytherin plays!

HERMIONE
Maybe I deserve a date.


loupnoir is going to kill me for using the US version for this thing, not the markedly superior UK original.