kiwiria: (Books: Warm Books)
kiwiria ([personal profile] kiwiria) wrote2026-05-04 10:48 am
Entry tags:

Books for April

Heartless Hunter - Kristen Ciccarelli, 4/5, Audiobook ~12hrs
Definitely one of the better fantasy books I've read recently. Good use of world-building, and the main characters were nicely fleshed out. However, it ends on a huge cliff-hanger, meaning it's more half of one book, than a book in its own right.

Fortunately I knew that going into it, so made sure to have the next book readily available as well.
I didn't always fully understand the friendship between Alex and Rune ... or rather, his motivations for helping her, but the relationship between Gideon and Rune totally worked for me. I'm very interested to see how that's explored further in the next book.

But that ending! Gah!


Bad Blood - Jennifer Lynn Barnes, 3/5, 509 pages
I mostly liked it, but man, it jumped the shark around the half-way point.

One thing I've enjoyed about this series is that it was believable within its own universe. Sure, IRL teenagers would never be allowed to play agents, but they were kept at a distance, and in the first few books at least, the crimes were realistic.

In this one? Not so much :-P So I definitely had to suspend my disbelief a lot more than I had had for the earlier books in the series.

It was still well-written and easily read, but I think I'm ready to leave the series behind by now.


Home - Penny Parkes, 4/5, 464 pages
Slow to start, and in the beginning I didn't care much for the flash backs, but once I got into it (and figured out what Penny Parkes was trying to do with the flashbacks), I fell completely in love. Sweet and poignant. I ended up absolutely adoring it.

I loved Kate and how her friendship with Anna was depicted - LOVED that the entire family took her in. I have a friend like that, and they are just amazing. I adored Callie, and was happy that she found somebody who could understand her.

I was somewhat annoyed that we didn't get a resolution regarding Andrew, but guess it was unfortunately all too realistic that we wouldn't.

The ending was perhaps a bit too tidy, and thus not quite as satisfying as I had hoped, but that's a minor nitpick. A bit too prickly to be called a comfort read, but all in all, a very heartwarming book.


The Name Game - Beth O'Leary, 2.5/5, 384 pages
This is definitely not one of Beth O'Leary's better books.

I liked the beginning - love reading about small communities, and Ormer was just perfect in that regard. I also loved the idea of Charlie and Jones having to compete for the role of manager ... even if they did accept the idea of co-managing a bit too quickly. I didn't even mind that there didn't seem to be much of a plot at all. Character-driven plots can be super cozy, and this one was shaping up to be just that.
But the hostility of the committee annoyed me, and the constant secrecy got to me ... especially when those secrets led to miscommunications. At that point I started recalling the ridiculous twist at the end of "Swept Away" and started to worry ...

And unfortunately I was right to do so. The twist here came very late and was a lot more unrealistic and contrived than could be handwaved away by suspension of disbelief. The only thing the ending really did have going for it, was that there was no third act breakup to complicate matters even further.


The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky*, 4/5, 228 pages
Had to downgrade my rating a bit. I still enjoyed it, but it took me much longer to get attached to the characters than I had expected.


The Physician - Noah Gordon*, 5/5, 720 pages
I still absolutely love this book and picked it up at every chance I got. I do think there are some parts of it that are unnecessary for the telling of the main storyline (the trek to India for one), but it never felt drawn out or dull, so I enjoyed it all the same.

This time around I did wonder if Cole could ever be content with his life in Scotland though. Must seem rather drab after the splendor and excitement of Persia.


Pope Joan - Donna W. Cross, 4.5/5, Audiobook ~19hrs
Still find the story fascinating, but it grated a bit how two-dimensional many of the characters were. If they were evil, there were absolutely no redeeming qualities about them. Joan's father is a perfect example.
A captivating book all the same, and I'm curious about how historically accurate it is - when push comes to shove.


Half Moon Investigations - Eoin Colfer, 4/5, 311 pages
A childrens' book that's fun for adults too :-D

Imagine "Bugsy Malone" as a book. The writing style is noir ... and the detective is a 12-year-old kid. Absolutely brilliant and really well executed.

The plot is pretty much what you'd expect from a childrens' whodunnit, but Eoin Colfer has a way with words and made this a very entertaining and enjoyable read.


The Consumption of Magic - T.J. Klune*, 4/5, Audiobook ~18hrs
A Wish Upon the Stars - TJ. Klune*, 5/5, Audiobook ~18hrs
Finishing off my re-read of this series once again. I love these books!!!!

Books Read: 44
Pages Read: 8,945
Hours Listened To: 196
Book of the Month: Heartless Hunter, will definitely pick up the next book ASAP.
Biggest Disappointment: The Name Game. A shame, since I know Beth O'Leary can do SO much better.
musesfool: (it's good to be the queen)
i did it all for the robins ([personal profile] musesfool) wrote2026-05-03 05:05 pm

i want you to take a look at this picture

Hey, I have actually read a couple of books!

what I just finished
First Witches Club by Maisey Yates, which was cute and fast but relentlessly heterosexual. It's about 3 women whose husbands have left them coming together to learn that magic is real. The community building is nice. This is kind of a beach/airplane read, but it was the first new-to-me book I was able to stick with in a while.

The Teller of Small Fortunes by Julie Leong, which I enjoyed quite a bit. It's kind of a picaresque about Tao, the titular fortune-teller, and the friends she meets along the way. It's pretty cozy, but things do happen in it.

what I'm reading now
Saint Death's Daughter by CSE Cooney, which I am enjoying. It's as if The Locked Tomb and Flora Segunda had a sunshiny necromantic daughter. I wouldn't have thought you could make necromancy twee, but Cooney sure does try.

what I'm reading next
Likely Saint Death's Herald, the sequel to the above. And then in just over a week, Parade of Horribles comes out and I will be reading that immediately.

*
luthien: (Heated Rivalry: Shane - wickedgame)
luthien ([personal profile] luthien) wrote2026-05-03 12:05 pm
Entry tags:

FIC: He Keeps No Secrets From Him (1/1)

He Keeps No Secrets From Him (4338 words) by Luthien
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
Characters: Yuna Hollander
Additional Tags: POV Outsider, Original Character(s), Marriage, Secret Marriage, Wedding Planning, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Episode: s01e06 The Cottage (Heated Rivalry)
Series: Part 3 of The Secret Marriage
Summary:

"I had a high profile client - well, a pair of high profile clients - applying for a marriage licence."

"And what? They complained? They're just entitled assholes. Don't stress about it."

OR:

How the rest of Greg's day went after issuing a marriage licence to Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander.

(This is just a little side story for me and the three other people who wondered what the rest of Greg's day was like.)
 

 

musesfool: "We'll sleep later! Time for cake!" (time for cake!)
i did it all for the robins ([personal profile] musesfool) wrote2026-05-02 07:15 pm

but you don't want 'em too nervous

I can't remember where I first heard about Russian buttercream, but I finally decided to try it out to see how it works. It is super simple: you whip 2 sticks/226g of room temperature butter until it is pale, add a pinch of salt and a tsp of vanilla, and then whip in a can of sweetened condensed milk a quarter of the can at a time. I knew it would be sweet (though not quite as sweet - or gritty - as American buttercream), and I knew it might have a caramel type of taste, so I chose to try these brown sugar/cinnamon cupcakes that are supposed to be filled and topped with salted caramel. Needless to say, I did not bother with all that. The cupcakes are not too sweet and the cinnamon helps cut through the sweetness of the frosting, so I think it works as a pairing.

The frosting did curdle, though (pic). I think maybe whipping it so long (I had to do it for more like 14 minutes than 5 - 7 to get it light) raised the temperature too much. There are tips on how to fix it, but since it was just an experiment and no one else is going to see them, I didn't bother. The frosted cupcakes are in the fridge, and I'm sure that will help. If you're looking for a super easy, pipeable frosting, this could be the one for you!

I also made myself a plate of nachos for dinner, and they were delicious but super messy, so not the best idea when I eat dinner on the couch every night.

*
rionaleonhart: supernatural: dean is sitting on a sofa and having a lot of complicated emotions. (oh hey)
Riona ([personal profile] rionaleonhart) wrote2026-05-02 01:46 pm

Sprechen Sie Talk, Huh?

I don't have a fic on the go at the moment, but I'm in the mood to do something creative, so I thought I'd dig up one of my favourite memes!

Ask any fictional character you think I might be able to manage a question, and I'll reply in-character as them with an answer (or possibly reply as myself going 'WHAT THE HELL, I CAN'T DO THIS'). Feel free to ask either as yourself or as another character.

If you're not sure what fandoms I'm in, the fandom list on my AO3 might help.

You may, if you wish, ask multiple questions (and/or multiple characters) or attempt to engage the characters in extended conversation. Ask away!
pegkerr: (Default)
pegkerr ([personal profile] pegkerr) wrote2026-05-01 03:31 pm

2026 52 Card Project: Week 17: Pelvis

As I mentioned before, I received a diagnosis several months ago for the pain in my pelvis: I have gluteal tendonopathy and bursitis. The inflammation also includes the SI (sacroiliac) joint. I have been doing physical therapy for several months, and things were a little better, but I have been plateauing for a while.

Finally, absolutely fed up with the decreased mobility and the pain, I made an appointment with a pain specialist and quickly arranged to get steroid injections in my SI joint and my gluteal trochanter last week. It was not fun, and the results will take a while to emerge (3 to 14 days).

I have been monitoring my step asymmetry with my Apple watch, and my limp had been pretty bad. It is getting a little better, and I can walk farther. The pain hasn't entirely gone away, but I am hoping things will continue to improve. Anyway, I'm glad I did it, and maybe I'll be able to exercise a bit more consistently now.

Image description: Background: Lavender flowers (representing serenity and physical healing). Center: a human skeleton with a figure eight-shaped thorny bramble over the pelvis. Behind the skeleton at the pelvis: an orange calendula blossom (representing comfort and recovery). At the right side, a hand in a surgical glove angles a syringe so that the point hovers just above the pelvis.

Pelvis

17 Pelvis

Click on the links to see the 2026, 2025, 2024, 2023, 2022 and 2021 52 Card Project galleries.
musesfool: Rebecca and Keeley from Ted Lasso (can't believe their eyes)
i did it all for the robins ([personal profile] musesfool) wrote2026-05-01 02:22 pm

you don't have to tell a tidy story

So I haven't written anything fictional since about January 2024 and mostly haven't even had any ideas, and then one morning last week (maybe the week before? I'm not sure - what even is time?), I woke up and was like, I could write a short DCC story set pre-collapse where Carl posts to AITA about breaking up with Bea and potentially stealing Donut. I told [tumblr.com profile] angelgazing about it and she was of course, very encouraging, and all, you should totally write that! But alas, I did not, though I did think about it longer than most ~ideas~ I've had over the last 2 years.

This morning, she texted me a link and someone wrote it! In a brief post on Threads of all places, but it was exactly that. And she was like, I only recognized it because you'd already told me about it! And I was like, see, I don't even have to write it because someone else already did!

Nice to know that even without writing anything, I am still tapped into the fannish hive mind. *wry*

In other fannish news: Ted Lasso season 4 trailer!!!! August 5th!!! I AM EXCITE!!!

*
rionaleonhart: kingdom hearts: sora, riku and kairi having a friendly chat. (and they returned home)
Riona ([personal profile] rionaleonhart) wrote2026-05-01 01:57 pm

I Know What A Kestrel Looks Like Largely Because Of The Animals Of Farthing Wood.

Had a lovely walk with my mum in Richmond Park; it was a beautifully sunny day. We saw deer! We saw a buzzard being hassled by a crow and then mobbed by smaller birds! We saw three cute little Canada goslings out for a swim with their parents! We saw a kestrel hovering, somehow flapping its wings rapidly while remaining perfectly still; I'd never seen one so close that I could spot the distinctive kestrel colouration before, and I was absolutely thrilled.

Then I caught up with a childhood friend I hadn't seen in thirteen years, which was also a pleasure! We reminisced about being small children obsessed with dragons and Pokémon and Neopets and Petz II, and I learnt a little about what's been going on in her life, which has - and I don't think this will surprise anyone who knew us as kids - been a lot wilder than mine.

Friend: I've been arrested multiple times.
Me: What for?
Friend: Getting into fights.
Me, mishearing: Genocide??

Actually, while I'm talking about the real world, here are a few notes I took on a visit to Paignton Zoo a couple of months ago!

- Just outside the zoo itself, I met the bravest robin in the world, a beautiful little round thing who let me get right up close.


- When a lion is grooming itself, it really does look just like a domestic cat. He was exactly like our cats Zuko and Dipper, only much bigger and considerably more capable of killing me.

- The toucan scraping its beak on branches was interesting to see! I also enjoyed the way wild sparrows would squeeze through the netting of the toucan enclosure to steal food and water.

- A baby king colubus monkey ran across the grass to its father and leapt into his arms, which was extremely cute.

- The cheetahs were out on patrol and looking magnificent! It was clear from the pattern of grass growth in their enclosure that they always followed the same routes when patrolling, which I thought was interesting.


- An army of baboons thundering into food-receiving position at feeding time is a hell of a sight. They were walking around in circles when they knew feeding time was close, which I found endearingly familiar; our cat Dipper rapidly revolves when he knows he's about to get fed.

- A meerkat spotted me looking into its enclosure and trotted up to me, hoping for food. It reared up on its hind legs and looked into my eyes, then leant forward to plant its little hand on the waist-high glass partition between us and looked imploringly up at me again. I was enchanted.


- flingos (this is what my four-year-old niece calls flamingos)


- When I was eating lunch out in the open, a robin sat on the arm of my bench and sang a beautiful little song about how much it wanted my sandwich.
aome: (Default)
aome ([personal profile] aome) wrote2026-04-30 10:36 pm
Entry tags:

The meme of lasts

I need to find time to continue my travel tales and update the books I've read, but I saw this while scrolling my list and it looked fun. Gacked from [personal profile] tielan.

The Last...

Movie I watched: The Sound of Music, on the flight home from Europe. Wanted to see (again) all the places we’d been in Salzburg on the screen.
Series I finished: Heated Rivalry (second viewing). *sheepish*
Book I finished: Game Changer by Rachel Reid, because I wanted to read the first book in the series. It was actually pretty different from HR ep 1.3, so it was good to see the original.
Book I bought: I bought an early reader and a Peanuts collection featuring Woodstock, both in German, from a bookstore in Salzburg.
Book I received as a gift: Probably the Puzzle Mania book I asked for at Christmas.
Food I ate: Gluten-free pretzels. :-P
Meal I cooked: Empanadas (baked, not fried).
Drink I had: Water.
Song I listened to: Cotton-Eyed Joe (the counselor who DJed the assembly I had to lead on Tues.
Album I listened to: Soundtrack for the Broadway musical The Outsiders, which Two was playing in the car.
Playlist I listened to: My iTunes running playlist (all upbeat tunes from wildly different sources).
Concert I went to: I truly have no idea. I don’t go to many concerts. Last Broadway musicals were The Outsiders and Hadestown on Two’s birthday in January.
Game I played: Yahtzee on my phone.
Person I talked to: Husband.
Person I texted: My friend J from college; we’ve routinely texted each other throughout the day for over 25 years. (Starting back before texting cell phones, when she just had a pager, and I was emailing her my responses to said pager.)
musesfool: jason todd is not all right (always all right)
i did it all for the robins ([personal profile] musesfool) wrote2026-04-30 08:38 pm

and you feel the glass sudden in your veins

I meant to have the recs update done earlier, but I fell asleep and then I had to make dinner etc. etc. But it is done now:

[personal profile] unfitforsociety has been updated for April 2026 with 14 recs in 4 fandoms:

* 10 Heated Rivalry
* 1 The Pitt
* 2 Batfamily and 1 Batfamily/Avengers crossover

***

Today's poem:

If your mirror breaks
by Joy Kogawa

if when you are holding a
hand mirror when you are
sitting in the front seat of a car
and the mirror breaks
you must stop everything quickly
step on the brakes
leap from the car

if when you are holding in
your arms a mirror and you
feel the glass sudden in your veins
if your throat bleeds with
brittle words and
you hear in the distance the
ambulance siren

if your mirror breaks into
a tittering sound of tinkling glass
and you see the highway stretch
into a million staring splinters
you must stop everything gently
wait for seven long years
under a sky of whirling wheels

if your mirror breaks
oh if your mirror breaks

***

And that's a wrap on National Poetry Month 2026!

***
pegkerr: (Karate Peg 2011)
pegkerr ([personal profile] pegkerr) wrote2026-04-30 05:01 pm
Entry tags:

Black belt

I got my karate black belt exactly 15 years ago.

I have been decluttering, and I finally threw out my old karate bag this week, with all my old, moldering sparring equipment. I will clearly not use it again.
But I am grateful for what karate brought to my life--even if my knees and hips are not.
marinarusalka: (Default)
marinarusalka ([personal profile] marinarusalka) wrote2026-04-30 10:20 am
Entry tags:

Celebrity sighting (of sorts)

This weekend, The Boy and I spent the weekend at Big Bear lake, with the goal of seeing the Bald Eagles that nest there. The territory around the next is off-limits, for obvious reasons, but we drove up Saturday morning and set up a spotting scope on the opposite side of the lake, where it was very lovely and scenic.

The scope gave us a pretty good view of the female, Jackie, on the nest. We even got a glimpse of the two eaglets at one point when they popped their fuzzy little heads up to feed. But we waited patiently for a better look, and after a while Shadow, the male, came down to the edge of the lake for a drink. He then did a very majestic flyover above the lake for a minute or so, before soaring off into the distance and disappearing behind a ridge.

I confess, my reaction to seeing him was kind of like a groupie spotting a rock star in the street. OMG, it's Shadow! Look this way, Shadow, let us take your picture! I love you, Shadow, you're so gorgeous, I'm your biggest fan! Squee!

Some photo evidence )

After checking out the visitors center, a quick guided nature walk, and a very nice dinner in town, we turned in for the night in our little rented cabin, intending to hike a nearby trail Sunday morning. However, when we woke up, the landscape looked like this:

Don't see that very often in Southern California )

So when we got to the trail head, we discovered that we couldn't actually see the trail. So instead of hiking, we hung around at the picnic area there so that The Boy could get the White-headed Woodpecker he'd been wanting to spot.

Got him! )

We also spotted a lone coyote nearby, but he didn't stick around for long:

Good boy )

So that was our weekend. 10/10, would totally go again.

(As usual, all the wildlife shots are courtesy of The Boy, the landscape shots are mine.)
musesfool: orange slices (orange you glad)
i did it all for the robins ([personal profile] musesfool) wrote2026-04-29 08:10 pm

They are being swarmed. They are being devoured.

Today's poem:

Bright Wings

I was walking in the garden looking for the intermediaries
between me and the clear light. I had left the hose running
much too long. Something was eating holes in the ear-soft
leaves of the morning glories. I saw for the first time
that the neighbor was growing corn - the yellow shocks
were leaning just above the cinder-block fence, and they
looked delicate and scruffy, like city corn, like alien corn,
and suddenly there was so much to be done, so much to
put in order, not the ordinary business of loving and dying,
but the ordinary business that comes bundled with them:
Sunlight behaved perfectly in every corner, the shadows breathed
in their one direction and told stories, our cat crouched in the flower bed
aching to kill something: How do you explain being so convinced,
so utterly taken by the idea that beauty is somehow moral?
I mean in this day and age? I mean now when no one can even get
that equation to hold up? But the ants have formed a black
ribbon that leads to a dead snail. But the Pipers and Cessnas
and Beechcraft are circling and banking for the airport with
so much color and precision. But the dogs two houses down
have heard the mail-carrier's foot, and they have erupted.
This is not the argument I'm looking for. And I have been lazy.
Tangerines and lemons have swollen and dropped from their
impatient branches. They lie among the fern and the vine, bruised
and mushy. They are being swarmed. They are being devoured.

--Frank X. Gaspar

***
marinarusalka: (Default)
marinarusalka ([personal profile] marinarusalka) wrote2026-04-29 02:10 pm
Entry tags:

Meme from muccamukk

The Last...

Movie I watched: Project Hail Mary
Series I finished: Dark Winds
Book I finished: The Raven Scholar by Antonia Hodgson
Book I bought: Enemy of My Enemy by Alex Segura
Book I received as a gift: Wild and Woolly Knitted Animals: A Naturalist's Notebook by Sara Elizabeth Kellner, Tanis Gray
Food I ate: Kimchi salad
Meal I cooked: Fried rice
Drink I had: coffee with almond milk
Song I listened to: "Smooth" by Santana
Album I listened to: I don't really do albums these days
Playlist I listened to: Don't really do playlists either
Concert I went to: Uhmm... Leonard Cohen about 12 years ago?
Game I played: Clues by Sam
Person I talked to: The Boy
Person I texted: my mom
raven: Trinity Santos from The Pitt, caught in a moody moment (the pitt - santos)
raven ([personal profile] raven) wrote2026-04-29 10:33 pm
Entry tags:

fic: a woman can't survive by her own breath alone [f/f]

I wrote a fic for The Pitt! Not the one I had originally been meaning to write, which I do still plan to. This one was supposed to be one I knocked out over the weekend, but it got quite a bit longer. Here it is.

a woman can't survive by her own breath alone (7491 words) by raven
Fandom: The Pitt (TV)
Relationships: Melissa "Mel" King/Trinity Santos, Trinity Santos & Dennis Whitaker, Michael "Robby" Robinavitch & Trinity Santos
Characters: Melissa "Mel" King, Trinity Santos, Dennis Whitaker, Michael "Robby" Robinavitch
Additional Tags: Trinity Santos and Dennis Whitaker are Roommates, Trinity Santos is Bad at Feelings, Canon Lesbian Character, references to past sexual abuse
:

“I don’t need a fucking script, Huckleberry!” Trinity says, furious. “I can ask a girl out, jesus.”

“I mean, that’s weird,” Whitaker says. “Because you haven’t. Like, that’s what this entire conversation is about.”

rionaleonhart: goes wrong: unparalleled actor robert grove looks handsomely at the camera. (unappreciated in my own time)
Riona ([personal profile] rionaleonhart) wrote2026-04-29 06:42 pm
Entry tags:

No One Is Allowed To Ask What Inspired Me To Make This Entry.

I am extremely sorry to everyone for this post.

Here are my thoughts on the masturbation habits of the characters of The Goes Wrong Show.


Surprisingly few of these characters actually masturbate. )


I briefly considered posting this under access lock, but I've decided to make it a public entry because my housemates have a right to see it and laugh at me.
twistedchick: watercolor painting of coffee cup on wood table (Default)
twistedchick ([personal profile] twistedchick) wrote2026-04-29 01:06 pm

(no subject)

This is what is happening to the Kennedy Center. It is a crime against culture and a crime against the American people. And it continues.

Quoting from it:

When Grenell instructed me to “get rid of” the center’s permanent art collection because we needed new art to adorn the building’s walls after its renovation, I was taken aback by his cavalier attitude. If the donors of the works didn’t want to pay for their removal, he said, we could put them up for auction or give them away. My mind raced immediately to the eight-foot, 3,000-pound brass bust of President Kennedy standing in the Grand Foyer. Designed by the sculptor Robert Berks, it is surely the most significant item in the center’s collection. When I reported the order to another top leader, his eyes grew wide; he told me not to do anything, and said his office would handle it. I can only hope that the bust—and all the other works—will be safe when the center closes its doors....



I do not have the link for the interview with the insider who talked about artworks being taken down, thrown out, sold under the table. I am looking; if I find it I will post it.
rionaleonhart: goes wrong: unparalleled actor robert grove looks handsomely at the camera. (unappreciated in my own time)
Riona ([personal profile] rionaleonhart) wrote2026-04-29 11:34 am

One Of These Doesn't Feature Robert At All, And Everyone Is Very Impressed By My Restraint.

Here are a handful of short Goes Wrong Show ficlets written in response to various requests, mainly on Tumblr! (I put out a call for fic requests, with the caveat that I was likely to make everything Robert-centric.)


Assorted Goes Wrong ficlets, including crossovers with Final Fantasy VIII and Death Note. )


I had a lot of fun writing these! But apparently I cannot be trusted to stick to the actual details of a fic request.
musesfool: sexy het couple (extinguishes candles & fans flames)
i did it all for the robins ([personal profile] musesfool) wrote2026-04-28 07:27 pm

Love is coming. It's on its way.

Today's poem:

For everyone who tried on the slipper before Cinderella

after Anis Mojgani and Audre Lorde

For those making tea in the soft light of Saturday morning
in the peaceful kitchen
in the cool house
For those with shrunken hearts still trying to love
For those with large hearts trying to forget
For those with terrors they cannot name
upset stomachs and too tight pants
For those who get cut off in traffic
For those who spend all day making an elaborate meal
that turns out mediocre
For those who could not leave
even when they knew they had to
For those who never win the lottery
or become famous
For those getting groceries on Friday nights

There is something you know
about living
that you guard with your life
your one fragile, wonderful life
wonder, as in, awe,
as in, I had no idea I would be here now.

For those who make plans and those who don’t
For those driving across the country to a highway that knows them
For the routes we take in the dark, trusting
For the roads for the woods for the dead humming in prayer
For an old record and a strong sun
For teeth bared to the wind
a pulse in the chest
a body making love to itself

There is every reason to hate it here
There is a list of things making it bearable:
your friend’s shoulder Texas barbecue a new book
a loud song a strong song a highway that knows you
sweet tea an orange cat a helping hand
an unforgettable dinner

a laugh that escapes you and deflates you
like a pink balloon left soft with room
for goodness to take hold

For those who have looked in the mirror and begged
For those with weak knees and an attitude
For those called "sensitive" or "too much"
For those not called enough
For the times you needed and went without
For the photo of you as a child
quietly icing cupcakes your hair a crackling thunderstorm

Love is coming.
It's on its way.
Look—

--Ariana Brown

*